What made you stop being an addict?

Now I don't wait to be talked to before I respond. I talk when I think I'm supposed to.

Do I wake up everyday with lots of energy? No but that's because I have a health problem, which is a story for another day.

A couple of months later I started hating it and regretting after every session. Yet, I couldn't stop.

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I saw every girl or woman as a sex object including kid girls. There was no way I would look at a woman and not think of f*cking her.

I don't know if all addictions are like this 🤔

Now I have the mental fortitude to face life's every day battles.

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I secretly kept on watching and watching until I got 19. At this time, I had started feeling the urge to ejaculate as I was watching the pornography.

Oh, and everyday I woke up tired 😫 I never slept early too. My mental health was nothing to write home about.

Around age 9 I discovered pornography through my uncle, he had left the CD in the video player in the night after enjoying himself.

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And I can also talk to them now.

I knew about masturbation but I didn't actually think of doing it but one day, on my bed when I was preparing to go to school I was watching pornography and something just came in mind; why don't you rob your dick with your hand?

Read that again ☝️

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So I'm still hanging on this lie.

Now how do you quit your addiction?

I did it in my administrator's office.

Hello, I have a question about astral projection. I started to get interested in this a little while after my mum passed in april. I thought I may be able to see her and speak with her if I managed to achieve astral projection. Since this interest, every time i sleep on my back I go into sleep paralysis. However, I cant progress into astral projection because it is very scary for me as I feel like I'm suffocating when this happens. I panic and force myself to wake up. This only ever happened about once a year before this. It sometimes lasts a long time. This has happened about 3 times per week since my mum died, as mentioned on a previous post. I no longer try to go into it anymore(due to the suffocating feeling), but it still happens. I read that sleep paralysis is the pathway to astral projection. Why has this started to happen so frequently since simply taking an interest in it? Is this connected to the afterlife? I am concerned about it as I now cannot seem to stop this happening. Could it be my mum trying to communicate? Im asking due to more knowledge around this in this group.

And I DID IT EVERYDAY

I went on my favourite site and started scrolling through my favourite categories; petite girls, sleeping girls, Japanese girls, Japanese mom, Japanese wife, massage, forced, in the bus, gangb*ng, Muslim girls, ebony, student and teacher, in the classroom, curvy, African, etc

There were times I was counting the days when I'm clean. But now I don't, because I got tired of counting and relapsing and starting all over again.

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It took me days to finish watching them. Finally I decided to go to the washroom to do The Last Fap.

I started rubbing it and I liked how I was feeling so I kept on doing it faster and EUREKA, sperms came out of my dick.

RUN 🏃‍♂️ for your dear life

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Now I know I have all the nice videos on my phone, the rest I don't have, are not nice. So I had to start watching them one after the other. Some of them were even 2 hours long but I made sure I watched every little bit of it.

All I knew was that, I couldn't masturbate without p*rn. I was first getting the urge to watch p*rn, while watching, I would now feel like masturbating.

Am I totally free? I don't know 😕

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I didn't even start counting the days because I didn't really believe I would get this far.

Have I stopped seeing girls as sex objects? Not entirely, I still want to f*ck some of them.

I knew something had to be done about my wasting existence because if nothing changes, then nothing changes.

Will my 9 year old face more difficulties than most girls her age if she’s an early bloomer? My daughter already needs regular B cup bras. The doctor says that my daughter will be even more developed by 11-12 years of age.

So all I had to do was to find a way to trick my dirty brain to think that p*rn isn't nice.

The harder I tried, the worse it became. I could get angry with myself and go about 3 days without it but when I relapse, I can do 3 in a day. And the subsequent days; it's just me getting drowned in the rabbit hole.

I went there early in the morning trying to watch a movie and I found the CD inside the video player so I decided to watch what was on it and that was the beginning of the life I never wanted.

Has anyone liked being made a cocksucker?

Was quitting worth the effort? At least for my mental health, it's a billion times worth it.

I so badly wanted to f*uk a girl, yet I was so shy of girls. I never wanted to meet anyone. I always wanted to hide behind the phone and text.

Remember, if nothing changes, nothing changes.

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This was February 2019.

I made sure I downloaded every video that was nice for me. This took almost the whole day.

I did it in my room. I did it in my washroom. I did it in school in the washrooms.

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So I thought had unlocked a new potential in life. I was doing it even if I don't feel the urge. I forced the urge to come by watching pornography.

But for me, I would say RUN away from it

I always wished they would sit inappropriately or the wind would blow up their dress so I can see things.

Why don't I get sleep at nights?

I just finished watching the best of the best p*rn videos on the planet. Now there's nothing else to look for on p*rn sites again.

But how was I going to do it when everything I knew wasn't working? I didn't know

There were times I could go 3 months without watching p*rn or masturbating but somehow I always came back to it.

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And these were just the act and not the mental and social problems associated with addiction.

I remember I once did it in my classroom at dawn. I did it in the hospital's washrooms. I did it in the lab where I work; both daytime and midnight.

I remember sitting on the bed and smiling and that was when it hit me that I have successfully masturbated.

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I did it while watching my sister. I did it while touching my sister 😭 I did it while watching my landlord's daughter.

I got tired of always breaking the promises I made to myself.

Just keep trying

It didn't feel great after ejaculating but hey, who cares about feelings?

I know some people masturbate and they don't have the problems I went through.

No self esteem. No confidence. No ambition. Just dreams.

Is masturbation and p*rn bad?